Bart Simpson/Quotes

These are the quotes for Bart Simpson.

Tutorial Tips (Level 1 only)

GameCube Version:

All right, Player One, uh, Homer, I mean HOMER. Use the control stick to move around, this is called walking. Press the A button to jump and hold down the X button to run. Anytime you're in the air, hit Jump again to get a little extra push.

PS2 Version:

All right, Player One, uh, Homer, I mean HOMER. Use the directional button or the left analog stick to move around, this is called walking. Press the X button to jump, and hold down the Circle button to run. Anytime you're in the air, hit Jump again to get a little extra push. Got it?

XBOX Version:

All right, Player One, uh, Homer, I mean HOMER. Use the left thumbstick to move around, this is called walking. Press the A button to jump and hold down the B button to run. Anytime you're in the air, hit Jump again to get a little extra push.

GameCube/XBOX Version:

You can go inside certain buildings by pressing the Y button. Oh, why did I agree to do this stupid tutorial, it's so boring!

PS2 Version:

You can go inside certain buildings by pressing the Triangle button. Oh, why did I agree to do this stupid tutorial, it's so boring!

Gags

There are a bunch of these scattered in each level, little surprises are hidden inside each one, be sure to come back again to see if there's something you missed.

Coins

Homer: Oooh, brain like shiny things.

Bart: Yeah, great, those shiny things are called coins. Whenever you get enough of those, you can get a cool surprise.

GameCube Version:

Try breaking these with the stomp attack: press the A button twice to do a double jump and then press the B button to do a stomp. That much butt pounds will break through anything!

PS2 Version:

Try breaking these with the stomp attack: press the X button twice to do a double jump and then press the square button to do a stomp. That much butt pounds will break through anything!

XBOX Version:

Try breaking these with the stomp attack: press the A button twice to do a double jump and then press the X button to do a stomp. That much butt pounds will break through anything!

Breaking Random Objects

That's the stuff, psycho! And so it begins...

Collector Cards

They're some collector cards hidden all over Springfield. Find the other ones and sweet reward is yours for the taking. If you want to get a closer look at the cards, you can see them from the Pause menu. And don't get your stinky fingers on them, fatty!

Wasp Cameras

Nobody knows why these things have turned up all over Springfield, they always seem to show up when something exciting happens. I don't know what they are, but violence is always an appropriate response in the face of the unknown.

GameCube Version:

Go up to a box and press the B button to smash it.

PS2 Version:

Oh, I heard about these. There's a promotion going on all over town. That means it's time to do a little "smashy smashy". Go up to a box and press the square button to smash it.

XBOX Version:

Oh, I heard about these. There's a promotion going on all over town. That means it's time to do a little "smashy smashy". Go up to a box and press the X button to smash it.

GameCube/XBOX Version

Press the Y button to get into the car, and don't take all day, this is just the tutorial.

PS2 Version

Press the Triangle button to get into the car, and don't take all day, this is the tutorial.

Directions (Unused)

Watch the road for directions. Don't ask me how it works just because it's there to help. Just follow the lights and you'll know you're going in the right directions.

GameCube Version

Okay, Homeboy, here's how you drive this thing. Press the A button to accelerate and use the control stick to steer. The X button is your brake and reverse, and the B button is your handbrake. You know, just like every driving game ever?

PS2 Version

Okay, Homeboy, here's how you drive this crapbox. Press the X button to accelerate, and use the left analog stick, or directional button to steer. The Circle button is your brake and reverse, and the Square button is your handbrake. You know, just like every driving game ever?

XBOX Version

Okay, Homeboy, here's how you drive this thing. Press the A button to accelerate and use the left thumbstick or the directional pad to steer. The B button is your brake and reverse, and the X button is your handbrake. You know, just like every driving game ever?

Wrenches

Way to go Homer, you the man! Collecting wrenches fixes your car.

GameCube/XBOX Version:

Ugh, finally; sheesh! I thought you were never gonna figure it out! Now I can explain what these phone booths are all about. Whenever you want to change cars or call someone up to use their cars, go to a phone booth and call them up. You can also change your clothing here, don't ask me why. Press the Y button to access the phone booth.

PS2 Version:

Ugh! Finally, sheesh! I thought you were never gonna figure it out! Now I can explain what these phone booths are all about. Whenever you want to change cars or call someone up to use their cars, go to a phone booth and call them up. You can also change your clothing here, don't ask me why. Press the triangle button to access the phone booth.

New vehicle unlocked by Gil or Barney

If you ever feel like getting a new set of wheels and you're not picky, Just talk to old Gil. He's always got a couple of crapboxes to sell.

New clothes (Unused)

Whenever you see this icon, you know you can buy new clothes. Don't worry. They have sized-48 pants for the balloon seat for gluttonous slobs like yourself.

Bonus Missions

Okay around town, you'll probably run into a few people I like to call losers. Maybe they need a ride or maybe they need help. Whatever the point is once you've helped them out, they will be available to help drive your lazy butt around.

Street Races

Here's how this works: Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph run a series of races around town. Complete all the races and you unlock a new vehicle. Well, what are you waiting for?

Getting into the road vehicles

Feel free to get a ride from anybody you see on the street. We Simpsons have done a lot for Springfield, so it's okay to get something back.

Wager Races

If you really need to put the hammer down and drive, you can always enter these time trial races. They cost a little to enter, but they have a mucho dinero payoff.

Avoid the cops (Unused)

Okay. While this is the worst city in America, our police will only ignore minor crimes like petty larceny and counterfeiting. Do too much damage and they're on you, man!

Destroying your vehicle

Wow, you really Homerized that car! Don't worry, just sit tight for a few seconds and everything will be as good as new. Why? Who knows. I just reads what they tells me!

Complete your mission (The Cola Caper only)

Congratulations Homer, mission complete. Go back home and talk to Mom to start the next mission.

Running

• "If I didn't play so many video games, I'd be in better shape."
• "I gotta work off my gut."
• "[panting] I'll never lose these love handles."
• "Children weren't meant to get this much exercise."
• "[panting] Just give me a second to catch my breath."
• "Energy depleting! Need sugar!"
• "So tired...so very tired..."

Collecting a wrench

• "All for Bart!"
• "Mine, all mine!"
• "You're all mine! (laugh)"
• "I don't remember this being here before."
• "Gimme, gimme, gimme."
• "GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!"

Collecting a collector card

• "Woo-hoo!"
• "Sweet."
• "It's like a game...within a game!"
• "This must be worth a fortune!"
• "Collecting these is much better than learning."
• "Must. Collect. More."
• "Why do these stupid things make me feel so good?"

Bouncing in the air

• "Watch the master."
• "Up, up, and-a-gay!"
• "Finally, my years of ballet are paying off."
• "BOING!"
• "Come on now, stick the dismount."
• "I'm flying, temporarily flying!"

Activating objects

• "This looks like part of the game!"
• "Okay, let's fire this thing up."
• "Here's hoping I don't die."
• "Hope this does something cool."
• "What's this do?"
• "Hello, an activatable object!"
• "Beep."

Kicking people

• "Ho!"
• "Yah!"
• "Outta my way, man!"
• "Out of the way, wannabe!"
• "Coming through!"
• "Comin' atcha!"
• "Hah!"
• "Hi-yaaah!"

Phone Booth

• "Yo, lift? Now? Please?"
• “Hello drivers, got a little situation here.”
• "Attention, cars! Ten-year-old hitchhiker needs a ride!"
• "Breaker-breaker, this is Bart Simpson requesting one pimp ride ASAP."
• "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I really need a new car."

Getting into a vehicle

• "Let's roll!"
• "Time to rock!"
• "Full speed ahead!"
• "It's Bart time!"
• "Let's hit the town!"

Leaving a vehicle

• "Nice driving, man."
• "Oh, awesome, man, that was the best ride ever!"
• "Oh-ho, that was the coolest!"

Responding to the phone booth request

• "Bart Simpson at your service."
• "You got it!"
• "Why is it every time I run a soothing mineral bath, somebody calls?"
• "I was already on my way out, there's been an outbreak of cooties here at school."
• "FINALLY, a chance to be on America's most irresponsible police chases!"
• "I'd be glad to drive you around! I mean, what's a more natural thing for a little boy to do?"
• "Okay, but I have to be back soon. I lit a fire I really should keep an eye on."
• "Okay, things are kinda slow here on the playground, anyway."
• "Okay. My latex dummy should cover for me in my absence."
• "I'll help you out if you buy stock in my new company: Buttsoft!"
• "Sure, it's not like I'm learning anything at school today."

Getting in from the wrong side

• "LOSER!"
• "Duh!"
• "You're as dumb as a bag of hair!"
• "So, how's that special class going?"
• "You're not from around here, are you?"
• "Other side, this isn't the short bus."

Talking to somebody

• "Hey, dude, what's up?"
• "Word up, dude."
• "Hey, buddy, how's it hanging?"
• "Hey, jerk monkey."

Asking for food

• "Gimme something with no nutritional value, please."
• "Gimme a sugar fix, please."
• "What's today's special dejure?"
• "Got a lot of running around to do today, something sweet and fatty, please!"

Driving

Revving up

• "Eat my dust, dust eaters!"
• "It's time for some road rage, Bart Simpson style!"
• "Eat asphalt, asphalt eaters!"
• "Oh, this is too cool for school."
• "Time to lay some rubber down!"
• "Jump the light speed!"

Flying in the air

• "Cool!"
• "Cowabunga, dude!"
• "Whee!"
• "High score, here I come!"
• "(laughter)"

Near miss

• "Outta my way, man!"
• "Hey! Slower traffic to the right, please!"
• "Move it or lose it, tool!"
• "Out of the way, wannabe!"

Smashing objects

• "I didn't do it!"
• "Lisa did it!"
• "Alright!"
• "Ooh, nice one!"
• "That was totally awesome!"
• "Whee!"
• "Whoa, wicked!"

Crashing

• "Whoa!"
• "(laughs) That was great."
• "I blame this computer navigation system."
• "No biggie!"
• "Damn automatic transmission!"
• "Oh yeah, baby, bring it on!"
• "(chuckles) I should do that more often."
• "My rims cost $900!"
• "And I just added detail..."
• "I hope this car can take it!"
• "(groans) I just know I'm gonna be blamed for this."
• "I hope that was expensive."
• "Ow, my skull! My beautiful skull!"
• "OWWWWW, my coccyx!"
• "Aw, man, this sucks."
• "Hope that didn't break my memory card."
• "Not the detailing!"
• "Lousy laws of physics!"
• "My dad will pay for all the damages."
• "My butt hurts!"
• "Ugh, my ovaries!"
• "Oops."
• "Charlie horse, Charlie horse!"

Running pedestrians over

• "Bingo!"
• "Take THAT!"
• "Yeah!"
• "Whoa, got him!"
• "I didn't do it."
• "Don't have a cow, man."
• "(laughter)"

Going out of bounds

• "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...(pause) OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
• "Whee!"
• "EEEP!"
• "This is gonna hurt."

Wrecked vehicle

• "LOSER!"
• "Aw, man, this sucks!"
• "I didn't do it."
• "Uh, I think I broke something."
• "I think I broke something."

Hit & Run

• "Bring it on, suckers!"
• "Watch the master."
• "You mean there's more?"
• "It's all good."
• "No worries!"
• "You think I'm scared? You thought wrong."

Missions

Mission start

• "Bart Simpson at your service."
• "No problemo."
• "Fine by me!"
• "You got it!"

Arriving at the destination

• "No problemo."
• "Easy peasy."
• "How about a hard one next time?"
• "Safe and sound!"

Running out of time

• "Hurry up already, I'm gonna be late!"
• "Alright, alright, chill, man!"
• "Faster, faster, faster, faster!"

Failing a mission

• "Oh, come on, just a few more seconds!"
• "(sigh) I was THIS close!"
• "Aw, man, this sucks."
• "I was just getting into the groove."
• "This sucks, I'm outta here!"
• "BORING!"
• "I'm just glad I'm not in school."

Completing a mission

• "I AM THE KING!"
• "And the crowd goes wild!"
• "Give it up for America's bad boy!"
• "Perfection - thy name is Bart."
• "(laughs)"
• "Alright, that was so cool!"
• "Oh yeah, I totally rule."

Passing an opponent while racing

• "Aw, loser!"
• "Don't forget to write!"
• "Don't have a cow, man."
• "Yeah, I totally rule."
• "What's my name? Boo-yah!"

Falling behind while racing

• "Oh, bullplop."
• "Oh, now, come on!"
• "You cheated, CHEATER!"
• "Grrr...why I oughta!"
• "Oh, great, now I'm losing."
• "Hey, you were supposed to eat MY dust!"