Apu Nahasapeemapetilon/Quotes

These are the quotes for Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

Running

• "I should sleep more."
• "My cardio is shut."
• "Fathering eight children has really hurt my stamina."
• "Just gimme a minute...to catch my breath."
• "My giant gut is...is slowing me down."

Entering vehicle from drivers side

• "Get in the car please, I have many places to go today."
• "If you want to drive one of these, get your own 22 hour a day job!"

Collecting a wrench

• "Who put this here? It makes no sense!"
• "Come to papa, random object!"

Collecting a collector card

• "Who put such a thing in such a place?"
• "Collecting useless things makes me feel like a true American!"
• "I wonder how many of these there are?"

Bouncing in the air

• "Whee!"
• "Bouncy bouncy!"
• "I'm flying!"
• "I am surprisingly acrobatic!"

Activating objects

• "Push push push!"
• "Hmm, let's try this thing."
• "I hope this works."

Kicking people

• "Ha!"
• "Out of the way, silly customer."
• "Stay out of my way please, Kwik E Mart business."

Getting hit or attacked

• "Hooney!"
• "Oh no!"
• "Please don't!"
• "Woah!"
• "Look out, my flesh is less resilient than it looks!"
• "Ooh, that has reopened one of my many gunshot wounds!"
• "Goodness!"

Phone Booth

• "Could I possibly get a ride?"
• "If you give me a ride, I will pay you a million dollars in the next life, I promise!"

Responding to calls

• "Oh sure, with my 22 hour workday, I have lots of time to help out minor acquaintances."
• "Get in, whitey!"
• "I hope you like loud Indian music, cause I do! (Sings badly)"
• "Come on in! Sorry, but I'm bleeding from a recent gunshot wound."
• "I'll be there in a jiffy, or my name isn't Apu Nahasapeemapetilon!"
• "Eh, why not? Anything to keep me from my family. Heh."
• "Please don't sit on my Ganesh doll."
• "Of course! It'll be good for my karma."
• "I hope you don't mind, my car smells like chutney."

Leaving a vehicle

• "Hmm, the fresh air is somewhat confusing."
• "I must finish quickly or vomit!"
• "Hope I am still the light runner I was in my youth."

Talking to somebody

• "Greetings, loyal customer!"
• "How are you this fine day?"

Asking for food

• "Alright, juvenile, serve me a fatty poison of some kind."

Kwik-E-Mart

• "I would be happy to suggest these new pretzel rods. They're made by an oil company!"
• "Maybe you would care to eat what's in the mystery box?"
• "Try our new pork Squishee, it's ham-tastic!"
• "This new Squishee Vindaloo will bring out an Indian in anyone."
• "I'm so glad you came. If I don't increase profits, I'll have to sell Sanjay to the Krusty Burger!"
• "Oh, perhaps a little quote-unquote 'shrimp' will dine you over."
• "Might I suggest the new cheddar Squishee? It's the latest thing in chilled fats!"
• "Perhaps a bit of chocolate-covered bacon would suit your needs."

Driving

Revving up

• "I am a lean, mean vindaloo machine!"
• "300 horses of convenient power!"
• "This is not good for my insurance."

Near miss

• "Hey, move it, whitey!"
• "Hindu coming through!"
• "Move your tumsy vehicle!"

Flying in the air

• "Vishnu, here I come!"
• "I can see my house from here!"
• "I am having so much fun!"

Smashing objects

• "This is just between me and you, random object."
• "Ha! Clean up in aisle 1!"
• "Oh, Sheba smiles on such behavior."
• "What in the hell were you thinking, sir?"

Crashing

• "Oh no!"
• "Agh, I smashed my skull!"
• "Perhaps I should refrain from doing that in the future."
• "Hope I have ruined my pants for this."
• "Oh dear."
• "What are you trying to prove with this crazy driving?!"
• "Oh, how unproductive."
• "What in the hell were you thinking?"
• "Oh, never have I seen such a four-wheeled disgrace."

Running pedestrians over

• "Move it, cracker!"
• "Get out of the way!"
• "Thank you for not dodging."
• "Get out of my way, silly pedestrian!"
• "Oh, do not fear, you will be reincarnated."
• "Your misfortune is most entertaining to me!"
• "You should not have stepped in front of my car."

Going out of bounds

• "Oh, please, be a dream..."
• "Oh, what a poor decision!"
• "WHOA!"

Wrecked vehicle

• "What in the hell were you thinking, sir?"
• "Forgive the rudeness, but you suck."
• "You should feel only moderate shame."
• "Ugh, what an expensive mistake!"
• "Oh dear."

Hit & Run

• "Oh no!"
• "You have got to be kidding me."
• "Where'd that guy come from?"

Missions

Mission start

• "Ooh, I had better hurry. Last time I left the store, hoodlums put pornography in the bridal magazines."
• "I must admit, the smell of fresh air is much more pleasing than the odor of the hot dog machine."
• "Hopefully, my store will not be robbed more than four times while I am driving around today."

Failing a mission

• "Ugh, I cannot watch such a display of failure!"
• "I have brought shame to my family and my store."
• "Ooh, I feel a need to wash myself vigorously."
• "It looks like the end of the road for Apu."

Completing a mission

• "Thank you for coming, I see you in Hell!"
• "I am the greatest driver in all the land!"
• "Thank you, come again."
• "I have brought glory to the name of Nahasapeemapetilon!"
• "That it, Apu! Make them like it!"